


Gotham Gazette

by Nirmalneaners



Series: unofficially official [4]
Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Bruce Wayne is Batman, But not really fake, Developing Relationship, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Family Drama, Family Feels, Funny, Jason Todd Has Issues, Jason Todd is Alive, Jason Todd is Red Hood, M/M, News, alfred is a troll, bruce making jokes, clark just wants to survive, newspaper, poor damien, they just dont know it yet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-05
Packaged: 2019-07-07 07:07:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15903354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nirmalneaners/pseuds/Nirmalneaners
Summary: "What is the meaning of this!""Good evening to you too, Damien." his father replied dryly, sparing him a glance from the tv as the door smashed back against the wall.





	Gotham Gazette

"What is the meaning of this!"  
  
"Good evening to you too, Damien." his father replied dryly, sparing him a glance from the tv as the door smashed back against the wall.  
  
He clenched his teeth as he stormed into the middle of the room, blocking the screen from his father's sight frantically waving a newspaper bunched up in his hand. Bruce looked mildly inconvenienced, looking up at him with his lips turned downwards but otherwise stayed quiet. They were staring at each other, Damien's hand squeezing around the newspaper until he saw a shifting of plaid against his father's shoulder. He flicked his eyes to the side and gaped.

"What are _you_ doing _here_?" he spluttered, staring at the alien. He at least had the decency to look startled at being addressed, his jaw working a few times in answer.  
  
"Looks like demon spawn's as well as ever."  
  
"Give him credit Jay, his manners have improved, if only a little."  
  
"Dick, seriously? That kid is like a bag full of cats-"  
  
" _Shut up Jason._ This does not concern _you._ " he finally snapped, ripping his eyes from _him_ to turn his head sharply at the two occupying the other couch. "In fact, it doesn't concern either of you so _cease your yammering_."  
  
"Why don't you _make me?_ " Jason challenged, sitting straighter in his seat in anticipation. "I haven't shot anything lately now I come to think about it."  
  
_"You could try."_  
  
"I don't _miss._ "  
  
"Well, you missed _the Joker_ , didn't you Todd?"

"Damien!"

"Oh, that's it Demon brat!"  
  
_"All three of you shut up."_ Bruce rubbed both his temples slowly while letting out a withered sigh, "I'm starting to realize why we have so much migraine medication in this house, its a miracle I don't overdose at this rate."  
  
Damien glared a moment more at the buffoons, both of them scowling back at him as Dick held Jason down by the arm. He turned back to the matter at hand as Jason stuck his tongue out, settling back into the sofa. _Childish imbecile._  
  
"What did you want, Damien?"  
  
_"This."_ he held the newspaper up, shaking it a little. "What is the meaning of _this?_ "  
  
Bruce lowered his hands from his face until one rested on the arm of the chair, his other Damien noted, rested by the Aliens leg. Bruce looked at it tiredly. "It's a newspaper, we get them delivered every day. Multiple ones, actually. What is your _point?_ "  
  
"My point? _My point?_ " he spat, bringing it in front of him and letting it unravel to reveal the front page."This is my point. This blasphemy! I _demand_ an answer!"  
  
He thrust it forward into his father's face and studied his reaction as his eyes flicked over the page, and to his annoyance he didn't react in the slightest, he even looked to be _reading_ the small print with interest. A hitch of breath to his left caught his attention and he snaked his eyes to the Alien, he too was looking it over, and he looked _worried._  Whether it was because of the article or Damiens wrath he couldn't tell, but he liked to think it was both.

"Hey, demon brat, what's going on?"  
  
He turned and threw the paper in their direction, refusing to break his stare at his father as he had the audacity to look slightly annoyed at being interrupted while reading. There was a crumple, a murmur he presumed was Jason reading the article before a squeal erupted.  
  
" _Oh._ Oh my god, this is just-this is brilliant."  
  
"Billionaire Bruce Wayne's new love interest, one less hole than usual," Jason's laughter erupted, the sound of intense crumpling mixing in. "Jesus fucking Christ, you have really raised the bar with this one old man!"  
  
"This is no laughing matter! This _has_ to be corrected!" He shouted, taking a step back to view all of them. _How could he laugh in the face of this?_ He waggled a finger threateningly towards the Alien. "Why were you kissing my father in that photograph!"  
  
"I, _uh-_ "  
  
"I see Master Damien has seen today's newspaper." a voice interjected, the clinking of China the only giveaway of his arrival. He watched Alfred walk past him and place the tray down on the coffee table.  
  
"Alfred, you've seen this!?" Dick giggled, poking at the paper Jason had his nose pressed against. "Why didn't you tell me earlier? We gotta add this to the scrapbook Al, this one is a keeper for sure!"  
  
"My apologies Master Grayson, the next time I will inform you foremost," he said dryly, standing behind Bruce. "Tea, Master Wayne?"  
  
"Yes please, Alfred."  
  
"Master Clark?"  
  
"Yes, thank you."  
  
_"Master?!"_ Damien screeched, outraged at the title. "He is no Master in this house! Alfred, you must at once remove this _Exteresstrial_ at once!"  
  
_"Damien!"_ was hissed in unison from the older men. He stared at both his father and Alfred at the scolding tone. _Has everyone gone mad?_  
  
"If you must know, this was done on purpose."  
  
_"What?"_  
  
"Bruce Wayne is now an openly bisexual man. And to the public, he is a taken one." His father took one of the small teacups from Alfred as the Alien took the other and took a sip, then continued calmly. "They were taking a too personal interest into my life that I couldn't allow, so we threw them a distraction. If they think I am settled with Clark it will be much easier to craft cover stories for my nightly activities and a bonus is, of course, I can drop that distasteful playboy act to some extent."

"And I hate to say it but it gives me leeway at the daily planet for all my absences," Clark added, a smirk splitting his face. "Dating the boss does have some perks after all."  
  
"I for one am overjoyed for the happy couple," Alfred added, a hint of amusement in his tone. He patted both their shoulders. "It's about time you settled down, sir. I have waited for this day for years, and you have surely chosen a fine young gentleman if I may say so myself."

"Thank you, Alfred,"

"It's my pleasure, Mister Kent."  
  
"Dick, ten dollars it's gonna be the old man getting bent over."  
  
_"Master Todd."_  
  
"Jason that's gross."  
  
"I censored myself! Better than saying fucked!"  
  
_"Language!"_  
  
"You have all lost your minds," Damien finally whispered, staring at them all in disbelief. He looked to his Farther and the Alien on the couch, both of them already watching him with amusement on their faces. " _Are you_ courting? Or is this only a ploy?"  
  
Bruce actually smiled up at him, an evil tint to it that he did not like the look of, and to his horror, a hand was placed on the Aliens upper thigh with a squeeze.  
  
"Say hello to your new Dad, Damien."  
  
He ran from the room as Laughter erupted behind him.


End file.
